Reviewing 2012

I was going to do a recap, but I think I’ll do this survey instead. Georgie discovered it. :p When I’m answering surveys/questionnaires/etc., it’s like my mind just goes BLANK.

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?

I was diagnosed with major depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. I zoned out during work and couldn’t separate reality from my flashbacks. It was scary.

2. Did you meet any of your important goals this year? What are your goals for next year?

I don’t make a list of goals. It’s never worked for me. Even if I do them, I just feel like I’m talking talk about the big game before I go and score, and when actually trying to do them, something may change/come up. Life is full of unexpected events. I don’t make a list of goals simply because you never know if anything horrible is going to happen to you that prevents you from completing them. And when you don’t complete them, you’ll be disappointed in yourself because you got your hopes up. THAT is why I don’t do the goal shit. Also, I’ve horrid luck. I’m not jinxing anything. ~

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

Not like super close to me. Wait, haha. My stepmother had Ezra. 😉 I DIDN’T FORGET. I WAS TESTING YOU.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

No. I mean, a whole family of my Sims died, but meh. I *may* have caused those deaths.

5. What countries did you visit?

Pft. I WISH.

6. What would you like to have in 2013 that you lacked in 2012?

More tolerance and patience from those around me.

7. What dates from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

My birthday, because I got a blood test that day. Early. I was even off work, too. And then I was busy all day. I wasn’t home a lot. I didn’t get to enjoy my day off all that much. I ate at Cici’s Pizza for dinner with Bebe, Shane and Mimi. I was exhausted. Dx

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Probably making the WordPress themes I made. Or completely uninstalling WordPress from 6birds and moving 6birds to a new location, then reinstalling WordPress. In other words, the fact that I merged my WordPress blogs is pretty accomplishing to me. I think this answer is adequate.

9. What was your biggest failure?

I feel like it was that I quit my job, because that’s what a lot of people are acting like when it comes to me, my life and that I quit my job. I was publicly humiliated by a manager who took advantage of his power and my mental state and the way he intimidated me. If I had known that I could walk away right then and there, I would have. If I had known that he wasn’t allowed to threaten me to explain my VERY PERSONAL problems to him or else I’d lose my job, I would have walked away. I would have told someone OVER him the next day. But it’s too late. Thus said, that feels like my biggest failure the most.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I still am.

11. What was the best thing you bought?

I’ve bought a lot of healthy foods this year. I really enjoyed it. Also, I bought my own Internet. That was pretty awesome. I also bought Cars 2, which ended up stuck at my mom’s house. Charan bought me a replacement for Christmas, so now I have Cars 2 again. <3

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

I was never good in vocabulary, and I have a difficult time with learning and understanding the meanings of words I don’t use often. If you see me using a “big word”, it’s because I know how. However, from what I can understand, I don’t really know anyone whose behavior merited celebration. Yeah, I think I used that right.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

My mom’s.

14. Where did most of your money go?

Gas, food, cell. Sure, the cell may not be needed as far as materialistic goes, but I’m claustrophobic. The thought of being ANYWHERE in any way, shape and/or form without a working cell phone terrifies me to the point that I’d rather die than be without it. You never know when an emergency will happen. ~

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Seeing that paycheck come into my bank account every two weeks, only for it to disappear into thin air barely a week later.

16. What song will always remind you of 2012?

  • Breathe – Sia
  • Broken Girl – Matthew West
  • Call Me Maybe – Carly Rae Jepsen
  • How to Save a Life – The Fray
  • Love, Save the Empty – Erin McCarthy
  • Put Your Hearts Up – Ariana Grande

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Sadder.
b) thinner or fatter? I’m probably thinner, but it doesn’t feel that way.
c) richer or poorer? Poorer. I quit my job. However, I think being rich in health is more important than being rich money-wise. Right now, I’m rich in neither.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Getting help, but I understand that takes time.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Cutting, crying, starving.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

I spent it sick.

21. Did you fall in love in 2012?

No, not romantically, anyway.

22. Read any good books?

I dislike reading nowadays because it gives my mind the ability to wander off on its own.

23. What was your favorite TV program?

  • Being Human
  • Degrassi
  • Sister Wives
  • Skins
  • Switched at Birth

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I don’t hate people. I strongly dislike people. And I think I’ll strongly dislike my stepfather forever. I’ve kind of always disliked him, though. And I don’t think that is a crime. Growing up, I was treated like I was committing some horrendous crime.

25. What was the best movie you saw?

Brave was really good. But probably one of these:

  • Red Dawn, the original and the remake
  • The Hunger Games
  • The Vow
  • The Lorax

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?

I didn’t really have one. Unless you count Ariana’s AMAZING voice.

27. What did you want and get?

  • Internet.
  • Cars 2.
  • Healthy food.

28. What did you want and not get?


29. What did you do on your birthday?

Ope. I’ve already explained this. Next question.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

If I had not gotten hit with depression and PTSD.

31. Who kept you sane?

6birds. You know, blogging. Stephanie is also pretty helpful.

32. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Ariana Grande. She’s really inspiring and talented. She has a lot of love, and I admire that.

33. What political issue stirred you the most?

Stupid. Freakin’. Election. That is all. ~

34. Who did you miss?

  • Todd
  • My siblings, both sides
  • Family on my mom’s side of the fam (Bebe, Mimi, Shane)
  • Mostly myself, though.

35. Who was the best new person you met?

Probably Evan, at Bri’s church, for various reasons. Also because other than that, I didn’t really actually meet anyone new that could be considered “the best”.

36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012:

Not everything happens for a reason, and not everything needs/has a reason.

37. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

I am the voice inside your head and I control you
I am the hate you try to hide and I control you
I am denial guilt and fear and I control you
I am the lie that you believe and I control you
I am the high you can’t sustain and I control you
I am the need you have for more and I control you
I am the truth from which you run and I control you
I take you where you want to go
I give you all you need to know
I drag you down I use you up
Mr. Self-destruct

– Mr. Self-destruct, NIN

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Comments on this post

Hey, I’m new to your blog. I absolutely love the design! I’m pretty jealous of it actually.

I found your blog from reading Robin’s blog (Our Carolina Days). I saw you wrote a comment on her blog post about abuse, so I wanted to check out your blog.

My first boyfriend abused me for three years. Only physically once. All other times it was verbal. I don’t know if that’s what you experienced, but I just wanted to pop by and let you know if you need anyone to talk to, you can talk to me. He also helped this girl bully me. I thought that would be the most difficult part of my life, but I was wrong– the most difficult part of my life has been 2011 until December 31, 2012 (I decided this year would be different!)

I haven’t been diagnosed with depression or anxiety, mostly because I refuse to let my doctor diagnose me, but I do know what it feels like because I experience it all the time.

If you need anything, feel free to email me!

You should never make your doctor hold back from diagnosing you; let them! If it goes undiagnosed, you’re less likely to receive the proper help that you need. If you’re diagnosed, it makes it slightly easily to get help. Untreated depression can lead to death. Don’t let that be you.

I know this post Is old too but I just wanted to let you know that this – “And I think I’ll strongly dislike my stepfather forever.” – really resonates with me and while I don’t know your story I do know what this feeling is like. Personally I’ve learned to move on somehow with therapy and other life experiences that taught me that he isn’t worth my brain space.

Physically and psychologically I hope 2013 treats you better. I started last year being diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and a 3 year old eating disorder and now I have control. I hope this happens to you too.

Sorry again for posting on an old post!

It’s okay. :3 It’s not old until the comments are closed (which is automatic, after about two weeks, I think). 😉

Durr… I forgot about baby Erza! *facepalm* His pictures were sooo adorable! I’m glad to hear that even in the dumps, there are a few things going well for you.