There was this topic for Blogtember that I never did and was going to when I felt the time was right. Unfortunately, the time will never be right. That day really struck me hard, and it changed the mindset I’d had for a really long time: His threats and abuse are over — he can’t hurt me anymore.

Just revisiting the site and talking about it is causing a nervous feeling in my body to occur, but I know I need to talk about it. I need to address it — to face it — to really be able to take back my life.

I’m going to assume research was not conducted and that the term “cease and desist” came from my post on AVON’s debt collectors (now private/requires logging in) considering the childish cease and desist “letter” that thoroughly contradicts itself considering “my name” was mentioned. I didn’t realize it until I read Jessica’s comment. It was posted and updated on the 3rd of September (RSS’ dates don’t lie when you print them on the day of), yet it is dated for the day before.

That’s the problem with online print — you can update it and date it back and change the date as many times as you’d like, therefore you are never able to legitimately prove it was there the day before. Say your host provides daily backups. Okay? So where was the previous post the day before? Or, you could even manipulate it by making a backup of it dated for the 2nd of September, then update it and take another backup on the 3rd. Unzipping the 2nd backup, you could go through and change all of the dates to the appropriate day and then zip it back up. All by manipulation, it could be “resolved” and “proven”, but if it happens to be brought up in court and such an expert is questioned about it, then such could completely change that form of “evidence”, whose entry is dated for the same day I posted Scars. Anyone who knows and works with the web should know well enough that online media can be manipulated. Anyone who works with servers should know about backups enough to know they can be manipulated after being downloaded and that there are cPanel access logs to track and monitor activity that are more than easy to find.

But if it’s been printed the day a thing was found, is it really worth going back and trying to cover all the tracks? Not really.

It’s not, because the domain name was purchased with the direct intention of harassing me. I don’t name names, and even if I did, no one but the paranoid views my blog from said areas. Since I blocked their main IP addresses, multiple proxy servers via XO Communications — a company lard was once associated with in some way — started showing up all over my website. So I blocked the entire range.

Then it was silent. Then I just stopped caring, because I realized he’d probably assumed he won, so I decided to unblock that range and other associated IP addresses and just roll with it, because I was/am tired of having to alter my life to fit their approval.

How is me blogging about my life and what happened to me not right when lard posted to YouTube a video including my name? I’d contacted and messaged him to take it down. I had to go to Google themselves to have it removed because he’d deleted the comment and disabled comments, ignoring my request. Thankfully, Google respected my wishes and removed it.

If I had received an email requesting to have something removed that didn’t invade my freedom of speech, then chances are I would consider it ASAP.

People don’t hate you and grovel at the sound of your name because of me. They do that because you’re invading their privacy and their children’s privacy because you’re posting pictures of their children online. They hate you because of you — because of everything I know is true about you. They don’t know about 6birds, and if they do it’s not because I told them. I wouldn’t deliberately share my blog with many people in the town I live. If I find someone from the city I live who also blogs, it’s just a perk. However, it’s also none of your business.

Did you get written permission to have the images posted online? Did you make your daughter pose in a way that makes it so easy for pedophiles to gather said photos and add them to a child pornography site? She’s laying on her back and, although I see it’s just for fun, it can come off as promiscuous.

Maybe I’m expected to be the problem because I’ve always been seen as the problem to him. To lard.

If you buy my domain name, of course I’m going to watch it and sees what happens to it. Getat.us was once available, and I was going to get it, but then a porn site bought it. I posted about how I was disgusted that it’d been bought for a porn site and how I wanted it for something else.

If you’re lard and you buy it, of course it’s sickening, because you’re the abuser, and I’m the victim, and you still feel the need to have some part of me to control.

Another thing Internet users should know is that once it’s posted online, it’s there forever. Internet archives may have it, Google’s cache may have it, someone else may have screen shot it — whatever the case, it’s there forever.

I’m a writer. My life’s a walking book. The people in my life are the characters and personas and influencers of said book.

The letter is unsigned, unofficial, a mere threat, a form of cyberbullying, and has the name of someone I do not know. Thanks for amusing me, though.